A Florida woman arrested Sunday for driving under the influence told police that she would have passed a sobriety test -- if not for her "big boobies," according to a Martin County Sheriff's Office report.
Marueen Raymond, 49, allegedly drove her grey Toyota Camry over 50 mph through a 35 mph zone near Jenson Beach, swerving over a double yellow line twice before parking her car across two spaces in a nearby Walgreen's lot.
Cops responded to the reckless vehicle notice and found Raymond in the driver's seat, reeking of alcohol and slurring her speech, the report explains.
"When I told her we were going to do some roadside tasks she told me that I needed to understand that she is big chested and if I asked her to close her eyes and balance she is not going to balance well," the officer wrote. "She told me 'Big breast you don't balance well.'"
Asked if she had any injuries, Raymond told the officer that she had "big breasts" and whiplash, according to the report.
Asked to walk a straight line, Raymond began to dance.
"When I told her she had to keep her hands at her side she stated 'hell no, not with these.' Telling me again she can't do it, not with her big boobies," the officer added.
The report also explains that Raymond "began to take her clothes off to show me her breast and I stopped her."
Officers took Raymond into custody and released her on bond the next day.
BIZARRE CRIME MUG SHOTS:
Dylan Edward Contreras. 19, was arrested for providing false information about his identity after an encounter with Twin Falls police. Police then noticed that Contreras had his last name tattooed on his arm. He was arrested on three outstanding warrants.
Man Jumps Off Bridge To Avoid DUI Test.
Trevor Gladston Jr., 39, of Atlanta is accused of passing a note to a teller that said, "Give the money now or we start to shoot," at the Wells Fargo Bank in the 5400 block of Peachtree Boulevard around 12:30 p.m. Wednesday. The suspect left the bank without any money after the teller stepped away from the counter behind its bullet-resistant glass, Chamblee police said.
Ohio man Samuel Cole allegedly stomped on his girlfriend's chest so hard that her breast implant burst in February, 2012. Cole eventually took the woman to a hospital, but told her not to tell anybody at the hospital about the attack, according to the police report.
A Martin County sheriff's deputy in Florida arrested Ramon Blair, 28, based on tips from informants that Blair would have hundreds of dollars of crack cocaine "on his person." An initial search turned no results, but a more thorough search while in custody revealed that Blair had hidden the crack in, well, his crack. Blair was told to undress, squat, and cough -- and police found what appeared to be a white piece of paper in his buttocks, which contained crack cocaine.
Thomas Mills, 74 was arrested for prostitution in Myrtle Beach, S.C.
Evelyn Marie Fuller, a toothless 49-year-old woman from Pennsylvania, was arraigned on two counts of bank robbery in January. Her motive: She needed money for dentures, cops say.
Cops in Logan, Utah, say they brought an extremely intoxicated man to the hospital on Jan. 20. They put him in the care of 46-year-old hospital worker Hal Weston. When they returned minutes later, Weston was allegedly performing oral sex on the blacked-out patient. He was arrested on charges of forced sodomy.
Russell Christopher Hofstad is accused of skinning and eating a cat.
That's Mr. Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop to you. The man with the amazing name was born Jeffrey Drew Wilschke. He changed his name in October 2011, but got in trouble with Madison, Wisc. police on Jan. 5 when he was arrested for alleged possession of a knife, marijuana, and drug paraphernalia.
Patricia Deshong, 25, and Quentin Deshong, 22, were arrested Jan. 7 in Metal Township, Penn., after attempting to blow up a vehicle using flaming tampons. The incident took outside of a bar and, as a result, the duo were arrested on a variety of charges, including attempted arson, public drunkenness, and criminal mischief.
Ray Lynn Mitcham Jr., of Linden, N.C., was arrested Jan. 9, 2012, in Cumberland County, N.C., for crime against nature with a dog. Debbie Tanna, spokeswoman for the Cumberland County Sheriff's Office, said Mitcham's next door neighbor went to speak with him Jan. 2. The neighbor, who is also Mitcham's landlord, told detectives she opened the door to his mobile home and saw him attacking her dog. The mixed-breed female was taken to a veterinarian, who recovered a DNA sample. Tanna said Mitcham was arrested Monday after his DNA profile matched the sample recovered from the dog.
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/20/butt-implants-fake-doc_n_1103933.html" target="_hplink">Oneal Morris</a> is accused of posing as a doctor and filling a women's buttocks with cement, mineral oil and flat-tire sealant. The woman wanted to work at a nightclub and searched for someone who could perform plastic surgery at a cheap price to give her a curvier body. Police say Oneal was was born a man but identifies as a woman.
Hubert Lee Credit was beat up by four guys, had a puncture wound on his forehead, and needed to go to the hospital. That's why he allegedly stole an ambulance near his Tampa home. He got treatment and was later taken to jail.
A Washington motorist was busted for making a boneheaded decision -- he put a skeleton in the passenger seat so he could drive in the HOV lane.
An Alcoholics Anonymous meeting isn't the right venue for show and tell. Darrin Porter, 45, was charged with disorderly conduct and obstructing official business after he allegedly crashed an AA meeting while drunk and carrying a can of beer.
John Robin Whittle wouldn't let a good beer go to waste, police say. The 52-year-old ordered a beer at a bar, left to rob a bank, then returned to the watering hole to finish his brew, investigators in Pasco County, Fla. allege.
Timothy Clark probably didn't think his plan through when he allegedly shoplifted from a Wal-Mart at the same time that police were holding their "Shop With A Cop" charity event.
William E. Robinson, 66, was charged with reckless conduct and discharging a firearm on someone else's property after he allegedly opened fire on a tree outside a shopping mall with a shotgun in an attempt to knock down a sprig of mistletoe. Robinson reportedly told authorities in Decatur, Ga., that he always gets ready for Christmas by shooting at mistletoe and was surprised that he was being taken into custody.
Supermarket employees in Florida call the cops after they caught Dannial Ashley with a romantic dinner stuffed down his pants.
Shawn Weimer, seen here with his nine-year-old daughter at a suburban Detroit gas station on the night he let her drive after he'd been drinking, admitted in court it was "a mistake" to use her as a chauffeur.
During a stop for an alleged traffic violation, sheriff's deputies in South Carolina seized two crack pipes that Ella Jo Price had allegedly hidden in her private parts: One was concealed in her crotch and the other was stashed in her buttocks, deputies said.
Heather Lynn Mayo called police looking for help to get her unwanted boyfriend out of her Florida apartment, but she wound up getting arrested. Her significant other clued cops into the alleged fact that Mayo was the driver in a deadly hit-and-run accident in February.
They say criminals often return to the scene of the crime -- perhaps that's especially true for those who live on the same block as the scene of the crime. Police say siblings Shakir Taylor, pictured, and Kadija Taylor robbed a bank on the same Forestville, Md. block where they reside.
Wagner was arrested in Southington, Conn. after allegedly stabbing a woman with a Christmas ornament while fleeing from a craft fair vendor that accused her of shoplifting. The victim tried to block Wagner's escape, but was slashed with a seashell decoration by the fleeing thief.
Gwinnett County, Ga. police say Trevor Jones broke into a home, then used the victim's laptop to log into Facebook. The problem for Jones, allegedly, was that he forgot to log out before he left.
A Panama City mixed-race married couple found a cross burning in the driveway of their home. A few days later, two threatening notes filled with racially abusive language and signed by the "KKK" were found taped to the house, according to reports.<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/16/lb-williams-black-florida_n_1098306.html" target="_hplink"> LB Williams</a>, the husband, eventually admitted to setting the fire and posting the notes, so his wife of almost seven years would drop her divorce filings.
Police in Illinois say that Olivia Ornelas blamed her DUI and crashed vehicle on her boyfriend's failure to take her, as he promised, to the new "Twilight" movie.
Police arrested Joshua Andre Pee and claimed he plotted with a teenage friend to fake the 17-year-old's kidnapping in Florida from a celebrity tennis tournament. When Delray Beach police and FBI agents found Pee holed up in a Budget Inn hotel two days later, he fled and broke into a home, trying to hide. He was charged with burglary and resisting arrest.
Authorities in Georgia found Ranaldo Jack stuck in a woman's chimney. He was charged in connection with an attempted burglary.
Tina Arie and Howard Windham allegedly got frisky in the backseat of a patrol car taking them in on drug charges. Even though their hands were shackled behind them, Windham's pants were unbuttoned and lowered, allowing Arie to perform oral sex. The deputy ordered them to knock it off and they weren't hit with any additional charges.
Marsia Emanuel allegedly flagged a school bus in Winter Haven, Fla., boarded and beat the bus driver in front of her daughter, a student riding it already. Cops found Emanuel later at home where she dropped her underpants in front of them, they said. It's unclear what was her motive.
Investigators in California are trying to track down a man who robbed a bank armed with pesticide. The suspect appeared to be carrying a black semi-automatic handgun and a plastic container of pesticide when he held up the Pacific Western Bank in Rancho Santa Fe on Nov. 4, 2011.
Police say that 87-year-old Dorothy Desjardins shot her elderly husband, Peter, after suspecting him of having an affair with her hairdresser.
Police in Florida arrested Karen Henry, 45, after she allegedly threatened her 80-year-old father with a knife for not sharing his potato salad.
This camouflage might work well in nature, but it really stands out in the police station. Oregon investigators believe Gregory Liascos, 36, was wearing this "ghillie" camouflage when he attempted to break into the Rice Northwest Museum of Rocks and Minerals last week. After setting off alarms, the suspect allegedly fled into a wooded area nearby. Officers only found Liascos when a police dog bit what appeared to be a patch of grass -- which yelped in pain. On Oct. 12, 2011, authorities said Liascos failed to show up for his trial. A warrant has been issued for his arrest.
Police arrested Joseph Wilson for the hundredth time after he allegedly stole $174 worth of socks and underwear from a Bealls department store in Port St. Lucie Florida.
Sheriff's deputies in Pinal County, Ariz., say Albert Tejeda's unique tattoos -- and his lengthy rap sheet -- leave him with a face they'll never forget. After Tejeda allegedly fled during a traffic stop, deputies claim they knew exactly who they were looking for and later found the 31-year-old walking around Casa Grande with a samurai sword.
Florida police arrested Ian Stuart Wood at his home in East Naples after he allegedly choked his wife over a heated game of Yahtzee.
Police in Iowa City, Iowa have accused 28-year-old Melissa Barbara Minarsich of attacking her boyfriend after he refused to have sex with her.
Police say Wilnelia Caraballo attempted to rob a convenience store using a toy gun, but found herself on the ground when one of the clerks yelled "Palm Bay police. Get on the ground!"
Ashton Graham allegedly used an inhaler to steal two cases of beer before slamming his head through a police cruiser windshield.
Even if Juan Aguirre got away, he would have ended up empty handed. Police said the 21-year-old Kansas stole six empty DVD boxes from a local adult entertainment shop.
Police arrested Alicia Ducharme after she allegedly poured cucumber salad over an elderly man's head.
Sutherland was arrested when her drug deal got interrupted by her three-year-old who fired a 12-gauge shotgun through the roof of a car in Marietta, Ga. on Sept. 6.
Police arrested Kimball for misuse of 911 after the 50-year-old Florida man called the cops in hopes of forcing a Taco Bell to serve him a midnight snack.
Daphne Melin A 32-year-old Long Island woman was busted after egging on two 12-year-old girls to fight outside an elementary school and then beating up a child who was watching nearby. Daphne Melin, of Shirley, encouraged the juvenile dust-up outside William Floyd Elementary School on Sunday afternoon, Suffolk County cops said.
Police were called to Francisco Rojas' home by his wife who complained that her husband was drunkenly trying to pull out his own tooth. In the end, Port St. Lucie cops arrested Rojas for breaching the peace because he repeatedly cursed at them despite warnings to calm down.
Kandice J. Child is seen in this booking photo from the Oxford County Jail. Child and her 15-year-old son were involved in an altercation when her son bit his high-school principal, drawing blood.
Josephine Smith is seen in this booking photo from the Pinellas County Jail. Smith was arrested after allegedly attacking and biting a piece of skin off a homeless man in St. Petersburg after proclaiming "I am a vampire, I am going to eat you".
Julio Socarras Mompeller allegedly exposed his genitals through a sunroof in the Florida Keys.