Happy trails to you, sir!
"There is nothing happy about that trail," he wrote of his uncanny face-and-body hair. "I am counting the seconds to December so I can shave this off."
His moustache connects to his neck beard, which connects (by way of some eyeliner) to his chest hair, which parts into a suggestive gap, then reconnects a few inches below his navel before plummeting southward toward the unknown.
Spoiler alert: He says he's gone Brazilian south of the border.
"It used to have shag carpeting, but I shaved that as well," the user added.
Thanks for keeping that photo to yourself, bro.