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17 Valentine's Day Gifts That Will End Your Relationship (PHOTOS)

Worst Valentines Day Gifts

First Posted: 02/05/13 EST Updated: 02/06/13 EST

Even if you think Valentine's Day is a made-up holiday designed to separate you from your money, people in relationships have plenty of reasons to get their significant others a little something on Feb. 14.

This year, make sure you don't disappoint your boo by staying away from the 17 terrible gift options below. From classic mistakes like a gym membership to the newfound horror that is the "Fifty Shades of Grey" toy set, we can pretty much guarantee that any of these gifts will put an end to your relationship. But hey, at least you won't have to buy anything next year!

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  • Sex Checks

    The description boasts, "Who says money can't buy you love?" which we're pretty sure was the original slogan for prostitution.

  • Gym Membership

    Everyone wants a gym membership, but no one wants to be told they need one.

  • Porn

    While one generally wants Valentine's Day to culminate in sexual congress, the gift of porn most likely strikes the wrong tone.

  • Sleepwalk With Me on DVD

    This is a great movie, and we could not love it more. But Mike Birbiglia's directorial debut is so painfully honest about a relationship that isn't meant to be, it's inspired several break-ups. Save this one for any other holiday.

  • The Tandem Glove

    This just screams codependence. You don't want your partner re-evaluating your relationship with his/her therapist on Valentine's Day.

  • The 'Fifty Shades Of Grey' Toy Collection

    This Valentine's Day, only one gift says, "I have terrible taste and I'm even worse in bed."

  • Sex Scratch-Offs

    At this point, actual scratch-off Lotto tickets would be more desirable.

  • Fresh Balls

    "Honey... We need to talk."

  • Instructional TED Talk

    Yeah, <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/tags/sex">this</a> isn't going to go over well.

  • Visa Gift Card

    Remember that moment in "The Apartment" when Fred MacMurray said he didn't know what to get Shirley MacLaine and then he gave her a $100 and said to go buy herself something nice? Yeah, that didn't end well.

  • A Snake

    A snake can be an amazing pet for the right person, but as a Valentine's gift it probably sends the wrong message.

  • The Complete Saw Collection On Blu-Ray

    Sorry, Patrick Bateman, this just isn't working out. And it's definitely not me, it's you.

  • Massage Chair

    Buying a gift that's clearly for you will be just another example of your failure as a partner.

  • A Bible

    Even if you're devoutly religious, we can't see how this would satisfy anyone's Valentine's Day wishes (even if it did come with the accompanying graffiti).

  • Bliss Fat Girl Six Pack

    Pretty sure this one is a no-brainer, but just in case.

  • Name Tattoo

    This one depends entirely on how long you've been with the person, but chances are, it hasn't been long enough to not completely freak out your significant other.

  • Nothing

    Everyone likes to say they don't care about Valentine's Day, but the bottom line is that no one wants to feel forgotten or unappreciated by the person they're with, especially not your soon-to-be ex.