It's been said that an infinite number of monkeys tapping on an infinite number of typewriters will eventually type out the complete works of Shakespeare.
But who needs some egghead's mathematical model to show that nothing is impossible? The daily dispatches of HuffPost Weird News prove that every day.
The odds were high that a man named "Bart Simpson" would stand before a judge named "Mr. Burns," but that's just what happened in the U.K. -- and not in Springfield's Kwik-E-Mart.
As Homer Simpson once said, "People can come up with statistics to prove anything ... 14 percent of people know that."
Mathematics also suggest that ETs exist. Famed theoretical physicist Michio Kaku and other renowned scientists tell us that the universe is so huge, it's all but certain we aren't alone.
"Each galaxy consists of a hundred billion stars," Kaku says. "Do the math. A hundred billion times a hundred billion is 10 sextillion. That's one with 22 zeros after it. There definitely are aliens in outer space -- they're out there!"
If you really want to be shocked by a number, however, check out how many men suffer zipper-related penis injuries.
An estimated 17,616 men went to the emergency room for "trouser zip injuries to the genitals" between 2002 and 2010, according to an article published this week in the Journal of the British Association of Urological Surgeons.
In other odds defying news, a man found a knife lodged in his back, three years after being stabbed.
In the United Kingdom, a man born without a penis will have a new sex organ fashioned for him -- out of his arm.
In California, a woman who repeatedly got shocked in her shower won $4 million in court damages.
But not all weird news is the result of something highly unlikely. Sometimes, it's just a matter of faithfully documenting the painfully obvious. That would include the latest from Billy "The Human Billboard" Gibby, a man who tattooed more than 20 advertisements on his face as a way of making money.
Gibby is now trying to remove all those branded tattoos from his face. And where is he getting the $4,000 to do that? He's selling more tattoo ads on his body.
It's temping to say Giddy has an impossible job ahead of him. In the world of weird news, however, the odds often favor the odd.
What was the weirdest story of the week? Click through the gallery and vote below.
Billy McNeely was stabbed three years ago, and ever since, the scar has been itchy and sore. He found out that his pain stemmed from the knife blade that had been embedded in his back the whole time. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/21/billy-mcneely-finds-knife-back-3-years-later_n_2927615.html" target="_blank">(Read More)</a>
The man known as "The Human Billboard" is trying to remove more than 20 facial tattoo ads on his face . . . and he's raising the money for this by selling more tattoo ads on his body. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/19/billy-gibby-aka-hostgator_n_2902509.html#slide=2235219" target="_blank">(Read More)</a>
Sean Moore says he gave his 11 year old son a .22 caliber rifle that just looks like an assault weapon. When he posted a photo to facebook, the N.J. dad says welfare case workers and police officers visited his Carneys Point home and asked to see his guns. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/19/sean-moore-facebook-gun-photo_n_2910779.html" target="_blank">(Read More)</a>
An estimated 17,616 men went to the emergency room for "trouser zip injuries to the genitals" between 2002 and 2010, according to an article published in the Journal of the British Association of Urological Surgeons. Almost all of them had their penises stuck in their zippers, the paper found. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/19/penis-caught-in-zipper_n_2907556.html" target="_blank">(Read More)</a>
We all know that life imitates art. Now, life imitates "The Simpsons." A man named Bart Simpson, accused of carrying a prohibited firearm, was recently called to appear before a U.K. judge named Mr. Burns. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/20/bart-simpson-mr-burns-judge-uk_n_2917746.html" target="_blank">(Read More)</a>
British tourist Antony Ratcliffe was briefly detained at an airport in Colombo, Sri Lanka after immigration officials spotted a "very disrespectfully" Buddha tattoo on the man's arm. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/17/antony-ratcliffe-british-detained-sri-lanka-tattoo_n_2896481.html" target="_blank">(Read More)</a>
Andrew Wardle, a 39-year-old British man born without a penis, will undergo three surgeries over the next year to craft a male sex organ out of his own arm. <a href="(Read More)" target="_blank">(Read More)</a>
A Los Angeles County jury awarded one woman $4 million on Monday after stray electricity from a next-door substation repeatedly shocked her in the shower. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/21/simona-wilson-shocked-in-shower-4-million-los-angeles_n_2923420.html" target="_blank">(Read More) </a>
The Milky Way galaxy is so big, that there's no doubt, statistically speaking, that ETs exist. That's what several prominent scientists say on the month-long series "Are We Alone?," airing on the Science Channel. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/19/aliens-the-definitive-guide_n_2909012.html" target="_blank">(Read More)</a>
A swarm of bees killed a 5-year-old female pit bull in North Hollywood. The incident happened after a neighbor cut down a tree that housed a hive in the Los Angeles neighborhood, Los Angeles Fire Department officials said. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/17/bees-kill-dog-swarm-video_n_2895994.html" target="_blank">(Read More)</a>