All she wanted was a cuddle.
At least, that's what 30-year-old Heather Gardner allegedly told Newport, R.I. police after getting nabbed for drunk driving, Newport Patch reported.
Gardner was involved in a three-car accident around 2 a.m. Tuesday, and officials say when they arrived at the scene and asked if she was injured, she told them she "just wanted to pick up the lazy man to cuddle with."
Police say the woman went back and forth between laughing and crying, while insisting, "You don't understand, I just want to cuddle."
She also allegedly admitted to drinking a lot before making the journey, but added, "I don't drink and drive often, otherwise I'd be good at it."
No injuries were reported in the accident, though Gardner's Jeep suffered significant damage.
If police reports are any indication, the questionable behavior of drunk drivers tends to continue even when the vehicle stops.
In January, a middle school math teacher was taken into custody on DUI charges and, during the ride to the station, allegedly offered to perform oral sex on the officer and let him fondle her breasts.
In October, a Delaware man allegedly tried to blame his erratic driving on an elephant he claimed had run into the road. Police say he was just drunk.